The Funniest Russian Dating Profiles

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Putting yourself out there in the online dating world is extremely brave. You’re judged mostly on your appearance, which is why making absolutely certain your profile pic is top-notch is even more important than the information you share.
Natural, subtle, and flattering is recommended, however, Russians have yet to get on board with this.
We can learn a lot about foreign countries: new foods, interesting culture, eclectic music… and the fact that you don’t necessarily want to date anyone from there.
You can check out Russia’s finest here – and take your pick! They’re most likely still single

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

32. Creepy

Do you think this guy is creepy? Just wait till you see some of the other guys. At least he knows how to decorate an apartment, right?

Source: africafamilyadventure.wordpress.com

Source: africafamilyadventure.wordpress.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: You dropped something! What? (Point at the ground) Your standards.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

31. Seduction at its Finest

We all remember the drink ‘Jaguar.’ You know, the most seductive drink ever. Thirsty?

Source: www.pinterest.com

Source: www.pinterest.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: (Take a photo of her) I want to show my mom what my next girlfriend looks like.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

30. Fishy Pose

If you have any idea what she’s trying to accomplish in this photo, please, let me know. Hope you like fish!

Source: russianuniverse.org

Source: russianuniverse.org

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

29. Clean Protection

Looks like this is a well-rounded hunk of a man here. He’s got a gun on one hand, and a hoover on the other. If you’re looking for a guy who will protect you and keep up with the chores, look no further. You’ve found your man.

Source: www.ebaumsworld.com

Source: www.ebaumsworld.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

28. Psycho Alert

This next one is for the man who likes a woman who will protect him no matter where they are. Even at your high school prom. Plus, that axe goes really good with her sparkly blue dress.

Source: www.ebaumsworld.com

Source: www.ebaumsworld.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

27. Mermaid

Do you like mermaids? Do you like skulls? How about both in a seductive pose? This mermaid princess is ready for you to take on a date, as long as she can bring along her skull.

Source: www.bajiroo.com

Source: www.bajiroo.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

26. Ninja

For all you ladies out there who want to feel safe, this man is the perfect match for you. Take a look at that stance. He’s like a ninja.

Source: www.ebaumsworld.com

Source: www.ebaumsworld.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: You must be a ninja, because you snuck into my heart

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

25. A Romantic

Here we have a man who knows how to show his romantic side. The spider-webbed hat just screams seduction! Plus, he brought you a flower.

Source: list25.com

Source: list25.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

24. Animal Lover

Yes, he has a dead animal on his head. He’s so stylish. I’m sure a lot of you out there are wondering if he’s still available. He is.

Source: www.rsvlts.com

Source: www.rsvlts.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a fox!

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

23. Drinks

I’m not sure what exactly this person is offering… Thirsty?

Source: ebaumsworld.com

Source: ebaumsworld.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: I’m not drunk; I’m just intoxicated by YOU.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

22. Sexy

Sexy, right? I think she’s looking at me. Or maybe she’s looking at you? So seductive.

Source: twitter.com

Source: twitter.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

21. Sexy Pose

Oh my… She’s ready. She doesn’t mess around. She means business.

Source: boredbug.com

Source: boredbug.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

20. Coordination

If you’re looking for a man who knows how to coordinate, you found him. He also loves cats! Nothing screams seduction like orange underwear and matching socks.

Source: www.teamjimmyjoe.com

Source: www.teamjimmyjoe.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

19. No Hands

Look everyone, no hands. Now that’s what I call talent.

Source: www.anorak.co.uk

Source: www.anorak.co.uk

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

18. Trash

There’s nothing more seductive than a woman lying in filthy trash. Everyone knows that. Don’t throw this opportunity away.

Source: www.teamjimmyjoe.com

Source: www.teamjimmyjoe.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

17. Wealthy

For all you gold-diggers out there, we have… this guy. He wants to take you shopping, I think. He’s a baller.

Source: sobadsogood.com

Source: sobadsogood.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

16. Fit

Hello abs city. If you’re looking for a man who’s fit and likes to walk around shirtless with a tie, you found him.

Source : www.aliexpress.com

Source : www.aliexpress.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

 

Russian 015-115. Would You Like a Drink?

Here’s an intriguing photo. Is this some sort of bribe? Are you thirsty, thirsty for love? Or booze.

Source: sobadsogood.com

Source: sobadsogood.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Do you remember me? [No.] Oh that’s right, we’ve only met in my dreams.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

14. A Man and His Sheep

There’s nothing that screams boyfriend material like a man posing with his sheep. They’re number 1!

Source: imgur.com

Source: imgur.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

13. A Faithful Man

All you ladies out there looking for a faithful man, or a man of faith, you found him! Even Jesus looks like he wants to be in the photo with this one.
doug

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Hi, my name is Doug. That’s “god” spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

12. Nice Eyebrows

This one scares me. Those eyebrows are out of control. And why is she trying to eat her necklace?

Source: theberry.com

Source: theberry.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: You shouldn’t wear makeup. It’s messing with perfection!

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

11. Schoolgirl

Here’s one for all of you out there with a schoolgirl fetish. Not sure what she was thinking when she put on those pink boots though.

Source: www.egokick.com

Source: www.egokick.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

10. Sexy & Nutritious

Nothing yells seduction like a banana and a newspaper. Sexy, nutritious, and smart?

Source: www.teamjimmyjoe.com

Source: www.teamjimmyjoe.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

9. Swagger

Here we have a man with swag. A swagger daddy. In the famous words of Drake, “He started at the bottom. Now he’s here. “

Source: www.slightlywarped.com

Source: www.slightlywarped.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

8. Party Man

Oh dear… His name is Rod, and he likes to party.

Source: www.opengeek.net

Source: www.opengeek.net

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Do you work at Dick’s? Cause you’re sporting the goods.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

7. Merry Christmas

This creepy man and his giraffe would like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas. What a sexy Santa outfit, right?

Source: acidcow.com

Source: acidcow.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it’s just a sparkle.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

6. Watermelon?

There’s nothing like a nice picnic on a nice summer day. Oh, and some watermelon! Mmmmm, hungry?

Source: izismile.com

Source: izismile.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

5. Do You Like Chickens?

I’m not sure what in the world is going on in this photo. I’m left speechless.
stalking

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Do you live in a corn field, cause I’m stalking you.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

4. Pimp

What’s sexier than a man in a fur coat? A man who’s not in a fur coat maybe. But this guy is a pimp!

Source: acidcow.com

Source: acidcow.com

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Is your dad a drug dealer? Cause you’re so Dope!

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

3. Flexibility

Not sure why all the car doors are open, but this man is impressive, in a super creepy way. Ladies love a man that’s flexible though. So why not show off that flexibility on your car with all the doors open.
hellooo

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Hey… somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

2. G-Mom Still Got it

This grandmother still has it! She’s flexible, single, and ready to mingle. Maybe you could set her up with your grandfather.
splits

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE: Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.

Source: www.timetobreak.com

Source: www.timetobreak.com

1. Uh What?

I can’t take this anymore. That’s enough. Russia, you need to get it together!
huh

TRY THIS PICK UP LINE (OR NOT…): Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!

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